First off, apologies to any citizens of the fine city of Chicago who may have been disturbed by the ecstatic moans that escaped my lips when I tried the au gratin potatoes at the Firehouse Restaurant eariler this week. I couldn’t help it.

Classy, I know.

Class is something about which our guest for today’s Virtual Cocktail Party knows a thing or two. But don’t think she’s your ordinary Junior League girl–she knows a thing or two about being a rebel, too. Cornelia Read, author of A Field of Darkness, is not only smart, witty and a fantastic writer, she’s also ready to answer all the questions you can throw at her.

So you know we love her already.

TASHA: Do you have a cocktail recipe for us, Cornelia?

CORNELIA: I want to share the recipe for a cocktail which holds a place of honor in A Field of Darkness—the Southside.

Hamptonites often claim this drink is named for the South Fork of Long Island, and my father once told me it was invented at the Southside Rod & Gun Club. According to NPR, however (audio clip here), its history can be traced to prohibition-era Chicago, when bartenders for the South Side Gang (“winners” of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre) first tried to come up with a mixed drink that covered the taste of raw gin better than did lowly ginger ale.

Somehow, that concoction was taken up by the lockjaw crowd on Long Island, where it remains the cocktail of preference.

I maintain that the best Southside is served at the Seawanhaka Corinthian Yacht Club on Centre Island (this is pronounced suh-WAH-nuh-kuh, though we occasionally refer to it around here as “swanka-honka-honka,” in honor of the friend in Syracuse who said it that way when she read the name off a schmancy purloined matchbook. Do not make the mistake of calling it “the Seawanhaka Corinthian,” as Nelson DeMille did in The Gold Coast, his otherwise gorgeous and faithful chronicle of Old High WASP life on Long Island).

Where was I? Oh yes, Seawanhaka makes the best Southsides, in my opinion.

This may just be a bias springing from the fact that I’ve been treated to them there more often than anywhere else, in the years since they started allowing chicks into the bar.

Should you ever find yourself thirsty at Seawanhaka, I recommend ordering your Southside “Race Committee,” which means you will get a lagniappe of dark rum on top.

The Southside, Race Committee Style
Ingredients:
1 1/3 cups fresh lemon juice
2/3 cup simple syrup*
1/4 cup packed fresh mint leaves
6 ounces Gin
seltzer water

Directions:
Crush mint into lemon juice and simple syrup until mint flavor has been released. Divide ice and gin evenly between each glass, add lemon-mint mix and top off with seltzer water, leaving some space at the top of the glass.
Pour a “floater” of dark rum (Mount Gay or Barbancourt will do nicely) on the top of each beverage.
Garnish with a lemon twist, if desired.
Serves four people (two if they’re sporting club ties/madras/Bermuda shorts/Lily Pulitzer)

*Simple syrup is a combination of sugar and water. Make it by boiling two parts sugar to one part water, until the sugar dissolves. Remove the result from the heat and allow it to cool.

OK, people, start crushing that mint! I made this recipe tonight (research, right?) and it’s really good. And you don’t need a cocktail shaker. Which is good for people like me who still don’t have one…

JT: What is your preferred shot for skeet?

CORNELIA: Tequila.

JT: Are you a member of the National Skeet Shooting Association, or the National Sporting Clay Association?

CORNELIA: I am currently a proud card-carrying member of the National “Let’s Shoot Up Paper Plates And Fresca Cans In The Driveway With My Daughter’s BB Gun, Because I Lost the Firing Pin From My .22 Rifle Back When I Tried One of Those Home Re-Blueing Kits While We Were Still Living in Cambridge, Even Though I Could’ve Totally SWORN I Put the Damn Thing in That Mug of Leaky Ballpoint Pens Near the Kitchen Phone” Association.

We are lobbying to become an Olympic sport, of course.

JT: What the hell is the difference between skeet and sporting clays?

CORNELIA: I believe the difference is that sporting clays are occasionally intended to bounce along the ground when you shoot them out of the trap at a low angle.

Given enough tequila, however, it ALL bounces.

Especially if you yell, “Eee ha! Andale andale….”

BOB: What is it with women who write mysteries and black leather jackets? You wear one in your photo. So does Diane Vogt. Do does Lisa Unger. So do countless others. Who sent the memo?

CORNELIA: Here’s the thing: none of us can iron our way out of a wet paper bag. The beauty part about black leather jackets is that they refuse to wrinkle no matter HOW many times you sleep in them–with or without Mr. Goldschlager and Mr. Yaeger.

Also, they don’t get linty the way your average black sweater is wont to do.

MWA frowns on lint, and SinC exacts hefty fines whenever the substance is spotted in author photos.

TASHA: You toured with Lee Child to promote your novel. Tell us a bit about that.

CORNELIA: As I wrote of him when he was due to receive the first-ever Bob Kellogg Good Citizenship Prize at the 2005 Backspace Writer’s Conference:

“It’s pretty much impossible to describe Lee without sounding suspiciously like Frank Sinatra’s character in The (original) Manchurian Candidate: the guy who’s been brainwashed to say, ‘Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful person I’ve ever known in my life,’ whenever Shaw’s name is mentioned.”

With the added bonus that Lee is also extremely funny, which no one could ever say of the fictional Shaw.

Touring with Lee was most excellent and only made me believe all of the above more thoroughly. Plus I only threw up once.

Here are some things I learned about him during the four occasions we did joint events:

1. Lee’s fans are without exception smart, funny, and tremendously fine-to-hang-out-with people.

2. Lee does not think much of the Seattle Mariners or the Kansas City Royals, having remarked following a game between the two which we got to see in Seattle, “if you added artistry and talent, that might have resembled baseball. Although even then, they will never be the Yankees.”

3. Lee drinks more coffee than God.

4. Lee will proclaim to anyone willing to listen that he is “not actually a nice guy.” I have found no one who agrees with that statement.

5. Lee thinks my signature is “appalling.” He seemed to find an occasion to remind me of that every time we were sitting alongside one another signing books.

JT: Lee sounds great. But on to other things. What are we going to do about the massive rise in shopping cart injuries?

CORNELIA: As a proud card-carrying member of the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Shopping Carts, I feel this is one of the most pressing issues facing our nation today.

Just say NO to NASCART!

(And don’t forget we’re just about out of limes and salt, the next time you’re down at the grocery store.)

JT: Would Madeline Dare be a beer drinker or a wine drinker?

CORNELIA: Dude, beer is Madeline’s middle name. It even says so on her towels: “M Beer D”

BOB: Among the books on my bedside table that I intend to get to before summer ends: A Field of Darkness and Paul Levine’s Deep Blue Alibi. Actually, your book is under Paul’s right now. Why should I move yours on top?

CORNELIA: Since I’m group-blogging with the gob-smackingly gifted Paul Levine at Nakedauthors, and he’s been so very kind about Field, I’d never recommend that you read me first.

I can only hope that you might find my own humble excuse for a book to be so much as a halfway-worthy read in the wake of Paul’s astonishing literary talent, though I highly doubt you will.

JT: What’s your best hangover cure?

CORNELIA: Lukewarm Coca-Cola. With the occasional bout of puking.

JT: Who would you do — Mr. Goldschlager or Mr. Yaeger?

CORNELIA: While I confess to a weakness for the sparkly d’oro stuff suspended in clear liqueurs, I say we let Messrs. Goldschlager and Yaeger split the tab for a swanky party chateau in the Bahamas, then we can invite Mr. Sambuca along for a nice leisurely three-day weekend.

JT: Who gets knocked off first, Barry Manilow or Celine Deon?

CORNELIA: Celine, because she bounces along the ground astonishingly well when you fire her out of a trap at a low angle. Plus, Dylan Schaffer’s very fine books have given me a renewed respect for Mr. Manilow.

A big thanks to Cornelia!!! She’s not forcing you to answer questions, but that doesn’t give you license to remain silent in the comments. Pose some of your own–we’ll answer them–it’s Friday, we’re all trying to avoid work. Are you there, Dusty? I know I can count on you to come up with a few off-color zingers for us, right?

Tune in next week when our guest will be Nathan Singer, novelist, playwright, composer, and experimental performance artist. He’s a good time–and I have a feeling he’ll ask you all some questions you won’t soon forget. So you might want to try a pre-emptive strike and get yours to him first. As always, leave them in the comments or email them to me.

And, hey! If you haven’t already heard about the Deliver Us from Evelyn push, check it out here. Chris is a great guy–if you’re looking for something to read this weekend, take a look at his book!

xo
Tasha