The release date of my second book is April 3, so that means it’s time for me to get busy setting up signings and coordinating publicity for Staying Home is a Killer. Looking back at the signings I did last year, I’ve learned one thing—there’s no such thing as a typical signing. You never know what to expect.
I’ve had the royal treatment–bookstores that had my pictures and book cover up on posters weeks before the date and sales clerks who told customers who bought my book early that I would be in the store on an upcoming Saturday. I went to one smaller Air Force base and the managers and sales staff at the base exchange were so excited I was there that they gave me a goodie bag and stood with me at the entrance, greeting customers by name and telling them they needed to come over and take a look at my book.
Those great experiences were balanced by the signings where the store couldn’t have cared less if I was there or not. I could have curled up and gone to sleep or danced a jig on the signing table and I doubt anyone would have noticed. Once I arrived fifteen minutes early and found the customer service rep hurriedly unpacking boxes and setting up the signing table. After the signing, they couldn’t get those books back in the boxes fast enough, which is disheartening to an author because one reason authors do signings is to make an impression on booksellers and raise the visibility of our books with book browsers. Hard to achieve either goal when the books are on the table for only couple of hours and then whisked back to the warehouse.
I did meet a lot of characters. There was the woman who told me how angels and demons are sending us messages through popular song lyrics and the young guy in baggy pants with plenty of piercings and tattoos who asked if he could have a kiss. It took me a few seconds to realize he was asking for one of the Hershey’s Kisses I had out to entice people over to look at my book. Guess that tactic worked–aybe a little too well.
In fact, now that I think back, I realize I’ve had some pretty interesting conversations about some wide-ranging topics during book signings: politics, immigration, writing, how to get published, the Da Vinci Code, and I can’t leave out the ever popular question: “Where’s the bathroom?”
I can’t wait to see what happens this time…
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Over on the DorothyL listserv, they’ve been talking about fan stalkers. Any of the rest of you Good Girls have a fan stalker story? I think some of the DotL fans are going to be leery of approaching us from now on, lest they be branded a stalker. I say we need buttons that proclaim loudly, “I Won’t Bite If You’re Not a Stalker.”
Good luck on the signings. Do you usually do a straight signing? Do you do a reading? What do the booksellers suggest the format be when you call?
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Heidi, I’d rather do a talk/signing because then I can promote it as an event. Some bookstores are fine with this, others just want a signing. Sometimes there’s space issues and other times I think it’s just that authors call and ask for a signing.
I’ve found that libraries are a much better venue for talks. Librarians love books and they tell people about it. Not being gifted in the theatrical area, I stay away from readings. I have a short talk I give about how I came to write the book, how I researched it, and how I write. Allowing time for questions at the end it runs about 20 to 30 minutes. I’ve also done a talk about how to get your novel published. The most fun I had doing a talk was at my kids’ school in Georgia. The kids were great-—they paid attention and had some fun questions.
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 10:23 am
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Oops, I meant to address that last comment to *Regina,* not Heidi. And I forgot to mention my favorite type of signing—the drop-in. I think that’s another blog though.
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 11:25 am
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Seriously, I think we can’t kill off poor old Heidi a minute too soon. These rumors of our split personalities are spreading fast….
Sara, did I ever tell you about the lady who showed up at a signing wanting me to write her life story. She claimed she was being hunted by the KGB. And she meant at that very moment–she was darting looks over her shoulder, shifting around behind shelves and the table. She had a giant hat and a thick Russian accent. I kept trying to sidle away from her for fear the guy aiming the poisoned umbrella her way wasn’t a very good shot….
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Diana,
I had a guy stalk me for a while, claiming he had proof that the DC snipers were being framed by the radical environmental movement ELF. He had all these dots connected, running through a Jamaican bass player, and insisted ELF had erased his hard drive, tapped his phone and stolen his mail. He showed up once at a gig, all goggly-eyed, and ranted in my ear. Very creepy.
Scared the hell out of my wife.
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Diana, my book signings sound positively tame compared to yours and David’s.
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 1:30 pm
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Sounds scary, David. What did he want you to do about it? Write his story?
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 1:30 pm
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Sara,
He wanted me to write the expose of ELF and their connection to the DC snipers. I was interested for the first five minutes. Then I detected a big chunk of crazy.
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Wow, David, I can see why you wouldn’t want to collaborate. I’ve just scheduled a signing in the DC area (Ft. Belvoir) so I’ll be on the lookout for anyone talking about elves and snipers. And also for poison umbrellas—can’t be too careful! Any one else with crazy signing stories out there?
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 4:04 pm
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No crazy stalkers for me yet, damn the luck, unless you count Terrenoire. And he’s okay, ’cause he knows the good places to drink.
by JDRhoades
on February 21st, 2007 at 6:18 pm
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Nope, I don’t think we can count David as a stalker, unless he begins to ramble on about sniper elves and umbrellas on the way to drinks. No stalkers is a good thing, right, JD? Or perhaps I’ve got it all wrong and a stalker is a mark that you’ve achieved a certain level of success?
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 7:04 pm
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Actually, I’m taking applications for stalkers.
by JDRhoades
on February 21st, 2007 at 7:08 pm
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Dusty, Kristy and I will stalk you. Better start watching your back.
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Awesome!
by JDRhoades
on February 21st, 2007 at 9:27 pm
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JD, Here’s a few possiblities for your stalker application:
Check all that apply:
*willing to attend book signings
*able to travel
*high credit limit on credit cards (not a must, but a bonus)
*fear of black helicopters
*knowledge of secret government plots and/or conspiracies
*able to talk about secret government plots and/or conspiracies to people whether or not they are listening
*love of fiction a plus, but not required
by Sara
on February 21st, 2007 at 10:21 pm
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