Anyone else remember Baywatch Nights?
It was a spin-off from the legendary Baywatch series, except Baywatch Nights apparently took place in an Alternate Universe. For example, Mitch Buchannon (David Hasselhoff) who was a perfectly normal lifeguard by day — and engaged or married or something to another wholesome lifeguard — was a PI by night with a romantic thing for his sexy fellow PI, Ryan MacBride (Angie Harmon). He seemed to have almost no awareness or connection to his daytime existence, which was really weird when you think about it, but not the weirdest thing about that show by any means.
No, the weirdest thing about that show was that in the second season they became Paranormal Investigators.
In an effort to save slipping ratings, the original PI format was altered to a sort-of X-Files motif. Ryan and Mitch were running around “investigating” everything from defrosted Vikings to a New Guinea sea monster. Poor Angie Harmon. She did such a terrific job spouting lines like, “There’s only one set of paw prints leading to the body. Doesn’t that seem weird to you?” She was absolutely convincing, no matter how preposterous the plot, and despite the fact that by season two most of her role had been reduced to screaming (convincingly) for help.
“Listen, that thing is in there with Mitch. You’ve got to get him out!”
The special effects were never as convincing as Angie, and often seemed to consist of disgruntled-looking stuffed toys and a hand-held camera being whipped around like crazy. Occasionally other members of the non-AU Baywatch crew would turn up posessed by the spirits of dead serial killers or stalked by deranged suitors (actually, that was one of the “straight” season episodes). The usual.
The best episodes — and I use the term lightly — were the ones where the monsters were either invisible or there was an actual mystery of sorts attached to the supernatural menace. In “Circle of Fear,” for example, Mitch and Ryan investigate the report of witchcraft in the local woods (I thought they lived on the beach?) and Ryan finds a book that turns out to be a witch’s Grimoire. Yikes! Naturally she just can’t help trying out a spell or two and…holy moly! “Hello, I’m Lucifer, and I’ll be your date for the evening.”
“Listen, Mitch, we’ve only got a few seconds!”
And how right she was.
I also liked the episode where where there’s a mummy haunting a museum warehouse, but as we all know, I’m partial to mummies. I think that one even had secret passage or two. I wasn’t so crazy about the one where they get caught in a game of Dungeons and Dragons, and I pretty much hated the one where the Romanian werewolf is eating local teenagers.
Anyway, the really weird thing about Baywatch Nights is that I taped about ten episodes. I’d like to think that I was practicing using my VCR, but I doubt it. See, truth is stranger than fiction.
Anyone else rememer Baywatch Nights? No? So what’s your favorite dumb scary movie of all time? How about the most frightening thing that you’ve come across in your video collection?
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Somehow, the whole Baywatch thing passed me by. Sounds like I missed something… interesting.
We have a few hysterical old Dr. Who episodes that my brother culled from his belongings (he was in a “Monks own nothing” phase). Emily (who is  loves to explain how the special effects were done. She knows a robot made out of a trash can when she sees one.
by Liz
on September 10th, 2007 at 6:09 am
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Hmm, must have missesd Baywatch nights. I’m sure they loved it in Germany if it starred the “Hoff”.
I’m not sure why, but two movies spring to mind; one from my childhood and one from my dating years.
The original House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price. I remember holding my breath while that door bowed inward, ready to burst.
Then there was the first Nightmare on Elm Street. There was something about being attacked in your dreams. Not being able to fall asleep, lest Freddy get you.
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Hate the Hoff - can’t watch anything with him in it - leftover from TV-hogging younger brother, who watched every Knight Rider re-run.
I love Matlock - not campy, but it does put me in company with many “cleaning my teeth after lunch - oh, look, Matlock’s on” seniors. I used to put kiddies down for a nap and settle in - just call it my “stories.”
This, I think, throws back to my TV-hogging mom watching every re-run of the Andy Griffith show. Love that man.
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What I find weird is I have absolutely no recall about Baywatch Nights whatsoever. The paranormal version sounds just like the sort of schlock I adore. 
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Baywatch Nights. Huh. You know, sometimes I find that the world has passed me by, leaving me behind in ignorance. And sometimes, like now, I’m okay with that.
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Rarely do I find myself in spritual convergence with Stephen, but this is one of those times.
Baywatch Nights? Jesus, the Baywatch days were frightening enough.
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We have a few hysterical old Dr. Who episodes that my brother culled from his belongings (he was in a “Monks own nothing” phase).
Liz, there’s sheer joy in bad TV and film, isn’t there? And not just because it gave the MSTK3000 guys so much material.
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Then there was the first Nightmare on Elm Street. There was something about being attacked in your dreams. Not being able to fall asleep, lest Freddy get you.
That IS scary. I was always too big a chicken to watch those.
And the one about the pod people makes me soooo darn sleepy….What’s that called? They’ve remade it three times now.
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I love Matlock - not campy, but it does put me in company with many “cleaning my teeth after lunch - oh, look, Matlock’s on” seniors. I used to put kiddies down for a nap and settle in - just call it my “stories.”
Okay, we can confess our lowbrow tendencies together — I always associate Matlock with staying home from work with the flu. There’s something very comforting about that old geezer. He could always get me to focus on something besides my aches and pains.
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Tori, I was sure you would be another closet case! I’m very disappointed in this sudden lapse of bad taste. Next you will reveal a love for PBS!
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Stephen, it was my first TV. My first VCR. I was YOUNG. I had a remote control all to myself.
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Baywatch Nights? Jesus, the Baywatch days were frightening enough.
I know!
You know what–I have never yet met a man who admits to watching Baywatch. Who the hell kept it on the air all those years? Women?
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“Stephen, it was my first TV. My first VCR. I was YOUNG. I had a remote control all to myself.”
I vaguely remember days like this.
Then one of my children came home again, and brought my grandson along.
I must confess that the show that has nailed me the hardest is Roswell - I have all the episodes on DVD, and have read several thousand fanfics based around the show.
That alone must qualify me for something - perhaps Conehead of the Year? One of my motorcycles is named after a Roswell character….
by Bob Rudolph
on September 10th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
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You were young. Uh huh.
You know, Diana, I’ve heard similar arguments before. Usually, though, it’s after some embarrassing tape surfaces involving nudity and a pizza delivery guy.
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LOL, Stephen. Yeah, Diana, what HE said.
by Laura
on September 10th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
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I used to have a thing for this western show called ‘The Young Riders’. (I was young too back then.) It was on around 1990. Last year, while at the bookstore, I came across the complete first season on DVD and bought it. And then I found this website called The Doorless Stall where a guy named Johnny Betts did reviews of all the episodes. Johnny has since turned to reviewing movies, so there haven’t been any Rider Reviews for a few years, but they were very funny while they lasted. Once in a while I’ll read a Rider Review and watch the accompanying episode and laugh hysterically…
by JennieB
on September 10th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
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I must confess that the show that has nailed me the hardest is Roswell - I have all the episodes on DVD, and have read several thousand fanfics based around the show.
Bob, you’re a man after my own heart. There’s nothing like the obsessive-compulsive fan in action. For me, it’s a British cop show called THE PROFESSIONALS.
I own the DVDs, I’ve read hundreds of fan fics, I (gulp) even bought ezine stories.
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You know, Diana, I’ve heard similar arguments before. Usually, though, it’s after some embarrassing tape surfaces involving nudity and a pizza delivery guy.
Giggle. Could that be worse than most of those home movies of people filming their first born child’s delivery?! Every video collection has its guilty secrets…
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LOL, Stephen. Yeah, Diana, what HE said.
Come on, Laura. You know darn well you’ve got some guilty TV late night secrets. Come on, admit it, you had a thing for Party of Five!
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Jennie, I vaguely remember The Young Riders. Of course, the worse the show, the better the review material! HOW I wish someone would review Baywatch Nights!
NOT that I am implying that The Young Riders was anything but television at its finest! LOTS of cute guys, as I recall.
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Gulp.
Um, now, the question.
How the heck did you know that Diana???? As in know THAT ONE?
by Laura
on September 10th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
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Party of Five?????8O
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How the heck did you know that Diana???? As in know THAT ONE?
I dunno. It must be one of those Baywatch Nights moments! Where’s Mitch and Ryan when we need them???
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Party of Five?????8O
Chick TV at its best, Will. 
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But Party of Five????
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