Loading ...
I Want to Suck Your Blood
So I went back and watched Gone With the Wind after all my Ahhht-LAN-tah talk last week. Scarlett and Ashley? Wow. What the hell was that girl thinking? I know we’ve all made bad choices in our time. But really! Could he be more boring? More wishy-washy? I’m getting tired just thinking about him. And let’s face it–he’s not even cute. Now, I’m no fan of Rhett Butler’s cheesy little mustache, but still. At least he knows how to show a girl a good time. I mean, who’s going to resist that whole you should be kissed and often and by someone who knows how thing? And he turned out to be as devoted as devoted can be. Well, except for the whole Belle Watling thing. I’d like to believe that he would have given Belle the boot had Scarlett ever pulled her head out of her….um….parasol. But Ashley? Bad choice, Scarlett!
Enough of that. I finished the library. Check it out. Space! I have space! Any suggestions as to how I should fill it? Have moved on from book organization to painting–Tibetan red for my bedroom. But can we talk about primer? As in what exactly is the freaking point? I painted my living room dark red last year. Three coats, no primer. It’s gorgeous. I rock.
Now. I like painting and feel that, despite being a girl, I’m pretty darn good at household maintenance sort of things. I can stain furniture, build shelves, caulk, deal with a host of odious landscape issues, whatever you need. I know what I’m doing. But for some inexplicable reason when I went into Lowe’s to buy my paint, I let myself be talked into tinted primer.
Why?
Apparently so that I could put up one coat of primer and STILL need three coats of Tibetan red.
Which leads me to ask again: What exactly is the point?
Anybody out there watch The Wire? You know the scene in the first season where they only use variations of a single word? Yeah. That was pretty much how it was here; I was a one-woman symphony of the obscene.
I bet Ashley Wilkes was the kind of guy who was all for primer.
Perhaps it’s time to cast aside the rollers in favor of a drink. Today we’ve got a fun, fun, fun Virtual Cocktail party. Heather Brewer’s wicked and witty debut, Eighth Grade Bites, is now in stores everywhere and is sure to satisfy even the most cynical young adult reader. Not to mention the adults. And all signs point to her hero, Vlad, joining some other fictional boys in their legendary status. Harry, anyone? Let’s get down to business…
Heather Brewer’s Vampire!
1oz Chambord raspberry liqueur
1oz Vodka
1oz cranberry juice
Combine ingredients in a shaker over ice. Serve as shots in a highball (rocks) glass.
SIMON: Which type of blood tastes the best?
HEATHER: Hands down, that would be AB negative. It’s the champagne of blood types, you know (and yes, different blood types have different flavors, kind of like how different wines or sodas have different flavors—I don’t make the rules, I just listen to Vlad).
SIMON: Universal donor? Or do you have more discriminating taste?
HEATHER: Vlad gets his blood from all sorts of people, as his Aunt Nelly (an RN—how convenient is that?) steals donated blood from the hospital just when it’s about to expire. So far, Vlad’s against the idea of feeding on a human…of course, he did bite his best friend, Henry, when they were eight. (Long story)
Personally, I have yet to indulge in a good dose of hemoglobin (though Vlad insists it goes well with chocolate).
GRACE: Who is Vlad’s ideal woman?
HEATHER: Two words: Meredith Brookstone. She’s sweet, pretty, strong, and has a flair for fashion. Now if she could just stop drooling over Henry…
ANDREA: Other than Vlad, who’s your favorite fictional vampire?
HEATHER: If I have to pick just one, it would be Nosferatu, all the way. There’s just something about those pointy ears that send Vlad and I into hysterics.
LINDA: What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you since your book came out?
HEATHER: Finding out EIGHTH GRADE BITES going into a second printing less than three week out was pretty crazy. Receiving email marriage proposals for Vlad from various teenage girls was a close second.
MICHAEL: How would Vlad deal with a werewolf attack?
HEATHER: Ooh, that’s a toughie. I guess first he screamed, “YOU’RE NOT REAL!” and then he’d probably pass out. Vlad has a hard time wrapping his head around that kind of stuff (and yes, I’ve tried explaining the irony of that to him).
LISA: What was your favorite grade in school?
HEATHER: Twelfth. Because it was my last year there. ☺
Really, I never enjoyed school. I was picked on terribly and couldn’t wait to escape. But the funny thing is that I was labeled a dreamer by my teachers, who insisted that I get my “head out of the clouds” or I’d never amount to anything. Heh. Glad I didn’t listen!
A million thanks to the charming Ms. Brewer for joining us today! Make sure to pick up a copy of Eighth Grade Bites. If you’re too late for the collectible first printing make sure you get there before the third. And when you’re done, answer the questions Heather’s left for us…..
1. Who would win in a fight—Anne Rice’s Lestat or Valek from John Carpenter’s Vampires?
2. A problem facing teen vampires today is the danger of hickeys. How would you propose we solve this problem?
3. What’s the one thing missing from all the vampire books you’ve read that they desperately needed?
Tune in next week when Joe Moore of The Hades Project is here.
In the meantime, do excuse me while I go drag all my bedroom furniture back into place and turn the place into the den of iniquity that it ought to be….
xo
Tasha
=