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Southern Fried Everything
OK! Filing my report on the Southern Festival of Books late, and for that I apologize. Will try to make it up to you all by sparing no detail in my recounting of the sordid late-night dealings of authors after the VIP reception. Who would have ever thought that….well….no…some things should be kept forever from the light of day.
I can, however, tell you that it was a fantastic weekend. The Sex & Violence panel went over well–due more to the charm of my panel-mates than the oh-so titillating topic. JT Ellison, Robert Hicks, and Marcus Sakey know how to steam up a room. Will any of us ever forget Mr. Perfect? (Yes, J.T., you can read it as soon as I’m done.) And as you’d expect, the panel set to reveal publishing secrets was well-attended. Toni McGee Causey and Derek Nikitas joined JT, Marcus, and me in the old Tennessee Supreme Court chambers. I’m kinda disappointed we didn’t get to rule on anything, but I suppose a girl can’t have everything. Pictures of the festival here.
Also had the opening of Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Talk about a good time! Pictures here. All in all, much fun was had–it was more laid back than the usual sort of conference weekend, but sometimes quiet hanging out is a lovely, lovely thing.
That said, some of us had more ribald fun than others here in Nashville. Today’s Virtual Cocktail Party guest made the most of his time in Middle Tennessee. Jim Born is one of the best guys around, not to mention a hell of a writer, protector of innocent women, and a Special Agent with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. So be careful what you do around him, will you?
JIM: I was told that interviewees sometimes make drink suggestions. As it happens I have a new drink I’ve been hitting the last few weeks. I’ve been laying off beer for some time because of mean comments Jason Starr made about my weight. That and he confused me with Reed Coleman from behind so I’ve been leaning more toward the lower carb drinks. V-8 makes a diet fruit with mixed berries. Mix that with vodka or rum and you can’t go wrong. Unless you’re in Nashville, your contacts are dirty and you meet someone with long hair and nice legs named “Pat”. But I woulda made that mistake sober.
CARRIE: What really happens at the Southern Festival of Books after dark?
JIM: One thing that happened this year was an hour delay because of great college football. LSU went into overtime and everything, including me, stopped. That’s the way it should be in the South. The other issue after dark at any book festival in any bigger city: Just because someone is pretty with long hair doesn’t automatically mean they are a woman. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson after that awkward and painful incident in Toronto a few years ago. Once again my apologies to Jason Starr but he is awfully pretty.
TASHA: There was a football game?
KRISTY: Who cares about football? What branch of law enforcement has the best luck with the ladies?
JIM: I don’t care what anyone says, the DEA rocks. Ask any agent about his off-duty activities and he’ll just smile. One of the values drilled into us at the academy is keep your damn mouth shut.
JT: What’s the one thing you’d never do at a conference?
JIM: I was going to say sleep with Jason Starr but that ship has sailed. I would never miss an opportunity to learn a few things from Lee Child. I’m serious on this issue. The guy is smart and gracious and if you keep your yap shut and ears open you might pick up some vital tips about publishing.
JT: Is nudity a help or a hindrance to an author’s career?
JIM: Obviously it depends on the author. I won’t mention any names but I always use myself as a guideline. Larger than me, a hindrance, smaller than me, a possible help. Hair placement plays a major role in this equation. If the author has more hair on the back part of their bodies than the front that’s a problem and I don’t just mean throwing Intelligent Design into doubt. It also depends on what part of their body stops jiggling first after doing eleven jumping jacks. That’s one of the tried and true methods of determining if one should ever be naked. Jumping jacks reveal more about fitness and eating habits than any caliper test ever will.
JT: What’s the secret behind your devastating sense of humor??
JIM: Never letting anyone see me naked.
TASHA: What’s your favorite book right now?
JIM: I’m behind on my stack but I just finished Echo Park by Michael Connelly. It is currently my favorite police novel along with the Choir Boys by Joe Wambaugh.
ANN: If you could collaborate with another author, who would you pick?
JIM: Unfortunately Jason Starr isn’t talking to me right now because of the incident mentioned above. There are a number of writers I’d work with but my work habits are so different and I like only worrying about my own productivity that I prefer my solo career. Ken Bruen could make me change my mind. I’d like to write a cops and robbers book where he writes one character and I write the other.
Does Jim rock, or what? If you haven’t yet read all of his books, get yourself to a bookstore and remedy that oversight at once! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
And whatever you do, don’t forget to take a minute to answer the questions he’s left for you….
1. Who is fun to drink with at a book festival?
2. Are there books that you think a drunken person wrote?
3. Is alcohol a help or hindrance to writing?
That’s it for now. I’m in the midst of preparing to jet off to fabulous New York. Urban Girl is way overdue for a city fix…
xo
Tasha
P.S. HUGE congratulations to the divine J.T. Ellison, whose debut novel, All The Pretty Girls hit stores everywhere this week. Grab a copy while you can because this baby is going to fly off the shelves!