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Hope
While my friends have been an enormous source of strength for me over the past few years, perhaps the biggest thing I’ve relied on is hope.
According to dictionary.com, hope (as a noun) is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. In its life as a verb, hope means to believe or trust.
I’m a strong believer in hope. I think it gives our wings the air they need to soar. Without hope, I think our flight (if it happens at all) is more haphazard and directionless.
But for hope to live it needs something else.
It needs desire.
Through all this M.S. stuff, I’ve spent a lot of time hoping. Hoping I’d not only learn to accept this disease, but actually thrive, too. And that was half the battle. As long as I maintained some semblance of hope (like a carrot at the end of the race), I had the focal point I needed when things got a little cloudy.
The other half needed to come from inside me…the part that takes the hope and runs with it as far as I can go. Sure, I realize circumstances can change in an instant and all the hope in the world might mean nothing. But without it, I have nothing.
One of my cousins compiled a life list when she was just a kid. It included all of the things she wanted to accomplish in life. And she took it quite seriously, still does to this day.
I live life a little differently. I have things I might like to do, but the only hard and fast hopes/desires I have entail the kinds of things that make a life worth living.
***I hope to make a difference with this M.S. stuff. I have to believe there’s a reason I have this, so I might as well do what I can.
The desire has me assembling a team for the M.S. walk in St. Peters, Missouri on April 13th. I’ve already gotten the “I’m in” from Judy Merrill Larsen, and an encouraging “most likely” from Heather Webber and our own Tasha Alexander. I figure if I can get five to ten writers/fans/friends (this invite comes with a free place to stay and time with some Good Girls, people!) on board for this, we can bring a little added publicity to the cause (and cash in on my manager’s promise of a group signing at the store 
).
***I’d hoped to make my birthday trip mark a fresh start in my life.
The desire had me doing all the things I knew would make it special—including taking a chance on something important to me, even knowing it might not work out.
***I hope to make it as a writer.
The desire has had me glued to my chair the past few days, writing an ungodly amount of words as I reach toward a goal that might be way too high—but I’ll never know if I don’t try.
***I hope to raise my girls to believe in themselves and to see themselves as someone special. Always.
The desire has me sharing some of the things I’ve learned (when appropriate) but also sitting back and letting them figure things out themselves, knowing that their views need to be shaped by their experiences…not mine.
***I hope to be wi–well, let’s just say that’s a hope that’s waning by the day. And that’s okay. Because I recognized it for the magic it was and did my best to grab hold of it. I fell on my face–hard–but at least I tried.
~I couldn’t live without hope. It gives me a starting place. It reminds me of what’s important and doesn’t let me get too distracted by the peripheral stuff that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Sure, I realize I can hope for all these things and they may never happen. But having that hope, and working towards it, is better than the alternative. Because, if nothing else, I’ll know I gave my very best shot where the truly important things were concerned
So how about you? When you have hope for something, do you just tuck it aside and see what happens? Or do you strive towards it—aware that it might not work, but willing to give it an honest whirl and find out?
And, to make it more fun… What are some of your greatest hopes?
Hugs,
~Laura
P.S. Now that I know how to upload pictures onto the blog all by myself, you’re all quite lucky I have some willpower! Last week was merely a testdrive, folks…merely a testdrive. Moohaha! 
